I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
