if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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