It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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