Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
