apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
