what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
