And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We got so high we made milksteak
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Shame - the story of my life.
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