Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
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