Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
