Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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