i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
