also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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