How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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