it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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