I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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