Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
