That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
