You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
