Its about making memories worth repressing
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
