My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
