i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
