Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
