Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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