Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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