And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
