I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We left the knife in your bed.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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