I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm at about main and main street
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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