We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
high people should be assigned attendants
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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