i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
