At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Is her dick bigger than yours?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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