8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
