hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
