Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
