NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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