I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
