found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
