I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Randomize
