I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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