Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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