Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
