Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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