is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
