I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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