I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
