I can text with my tongue
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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