I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
