We named our party play list daddy issues
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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