so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
