The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
