bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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