pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my shit smells like andre
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Found your dick twin last night
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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