happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
